The End of the Hardest Year

A year ago today I left on my mission. This has hands down been the hardest year I’ve lived thus far. It has also been the most rewarding, but oh my gosh it has been so hard. I realized this “anniversary” yesterday & have been trying not to care, act like it was just another day. However, today I felt unexpectedly sad. I haven’t felt sad in a while. There were multiple times in the day that the sadness just over came me & the tears just came. I walked into my room to change clothes & get ready for my second job & I felt like my bed was a huge magnet pulling me to it. I just wanted to bury myself in my bed & cry. I didn’t get into bed though because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out. On my way to work I heard the song “Last Time” & it exactly what I needed hear. The lyrics are:

​This is the first time
I think I finally understand
where I'm going and who I really am.
I wish that I could stay forever,
but I don't have to live alone.
I can keep it with me when I go.
Yes I know,
this wont be the last time I feel this way,
his love in my heart,
the desire to change.
I'll take what I've learned and live it the rest of my life,
this won't be the last time.
This won't be the last time.
This has changed me,
I'm not the person I was before.
I'll take these memories
and make them so much more.
I'm facing in the right direction,
I'm gonna follow where he leads,
now that I know what matters most to me.
This wont be the last time I feel this way,
his love in my heart,
the desire to change.
I'll take what I've learned and live it the rest of my life,
this won't be the last time.
This wont be the last time I feel this way,
his love in my heart, the desire to change.
I'll take what I've learned and live it the rest of my life,
this won't be the last time.
This wont be the last time I feel this way,
his love in my heart,
the desire to change.
I'll take what I've learned
and live it the rest of my life,
this won't be the last time.
This won't be the last time.

I have learned so much this past year & I’m excited to see what I can do to apply those lessons I’ve learned. I’m so thankful for everyone who has had a helping hand in my physical & emotional recovery. I love you all so much!!